Letter to e-Bay

Right, I need to vent. Ima vent. VENT VENT VENT.


Dear e-Bay,

We have a love/hate relationship, you and I. Some days I will scour you like a treasure trove, finding such beauteous items as a vintage 50’s polka-dot skirt for 99p (not worn it yet… but I WILL). Other days, you’re no better than Primark on a hot saturday afternoon when their air conditioning is as terribly crap as their attempts at “budget fashion” (don’t get me started on Primark). So anyway, yes, you could say you’re a bit of a schizophrenic Marmite to me.

But the thing is, e-Bay, I’m good to you. I pay you attention; visit you lots; make sure the pay-pal account is always topped up. I mean, Jesus e-Bay, I don’t think there’s another girl out there that has such pristine feed-back. So why then, e-Bay, did you treat me like crap?? Ey?? I feel used and hurt after the 3 good years we’ve had together.

I uploaded a shirt onto you. A dark floral shirt to be precise. It reminded me of the Alexa Chung “hot granny-style”. Note the word STYLE, e-Bay. Not once did I say Alexa Chung HAD worn one, or even one similar. Just that it was reminiscent of her STYLE. And this morning, I wake up to an e-mail from you. A long and laborious read, I can tell you (much like this post). The gist of it was that I had “misused a brand name” in an attempt to garner more views!!! You ignorant fool e-Bay! I never did that! And for you to accuse me of being a view-whore is, well, heartbreaking. I think this might be the end, e-Bay. Maybe we can work it out in the future…perhaps.

Yours Sincerely,

p.s. just… you know… on the off-chance that anyone is actually reading this, go and have a look at the existing stuff I have on there. It hurts but… I must sell my babies. http://myworld.ebay.co.uk/xljx-2008


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